The Lutheran Witness

False Parenting Guilt

Next Article
Fake News
Comments (4)
  1. Avatar RK Marek says:

    I totally disagree. “the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” James 1:20 KJV.

    There is a VERY good reason that parents are cautioned not to discipline while they are angry. Parents are human, and anger is an emotion that often causes us to over-react.

    God, in complete contrast to us, is long-suffering, and absolutely capable of containing His anger while He works for the good of those who believe.

    Christian parents, by God’s grace, can do this, too. But they need to give themselves the blessing of Time. What I mean by that is, no harm comes to a child who is told that he must wait for several minutes, or even several hours, while the parent thinks, prays, and cools down, before the appropriate discipline is administered.

    It is far better to say, “This deed of yours has made me extremely angry. And I do not want to respond out of anger. But I WILL need to discipline you in obedience to God, Who has made me His representative for your good. So while I consider how to respond, you must have “Time Out”. No pleasant distractions for you are allowed while your parents consider how to discipline you.”

  2. Avatar Cheryl Post says:

    How surprised I was, when raising my now grown (and godly) children, at my own anger when at times, in spite of all my loving care of them, they disobeyed my clear instruction for things I knew they could and should do. Amazing! They came to learn that their disobedience would bring corrective discipline, yet, at times, still chose to disobey. How I disliked having to correct them, when I worked so hard to help them avoid sin. I guess I was angry at having to be the enforcer of discipline, which was really rebellion of my own. I have needed to repent of sinful behavior inspired by anger, but have concluded, as Scripture explains, not all anger is sinful (Eph. 4:26). Also important to note is that while God’s anger is always perfect, mine is not. Thank you for writing this article, though I disagree that anger is necessary at a child’s misdeeds. We expect misdeeds from children and prepare for them (James 1:20). Overall I think your article will help relieve Christian parents of an undue burden and help give them God’s peace and strength for the challenging job of parenting, as long as they persistently couple the Law of God with the good news of forgiveness in Jesus Christ. Thank you.

  3. Avatar Rev. Dr. John Tape says:

    James 1:20 tells us, “the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

    You should never ever discipline a child while you are angry–never, never, never!

    If what your child has done has made you angry, calm down first, cool down, and take a few moments to pray. Ask God to give you patience and wisdom. Thank Him for bringing that child into your life. Then reassure your child of your love and discuss with him/her why that action was wrong and lovingly explain the discipline/consequences involved. Disciplining a child should never be used as an opportunity to vent your frustrations or anger. But it can be a time to draw closer to God and to each other.

  4. Avatar John J Flanagan says:

    Unfortunately today, many young parents do not correctly discipline their children. Depriving them of some privileges or having a “time out” will not work with all children. There are times when a child needs a spanking. Children who are too often indulged and not disciplined at an early age will usually be narcissistic, demanding, and obnoxious, having gotten away with bad behavior by weak parents who have done them no favor by allowing continued misbehavior to persist. In children who have not been corrected, one will always see a common characteristic….they do not fear or respect their parents, other adults, or authority. It is comparable to the definition of Original Sin….it is not so much a character flaw as it is no fear of God or fear of wrongdoing. A Christian parent needs to discipline their children at an early age, and if a child is raised up right, there are fewer issues of disobedience and disrespect. However, some children may change even after the best efforts are made by the parents, and this is also not uncommon.