by Lucas Woodford
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).
Somehow we in the church have lost the art of talking about sex in our families and in the church. If Christians are going to do any good at reclaiming family virtue, we certainly have to be comfortable talking about sex in healthy ways. This means that we must be comfortable talking about real sex with each other and not letting TV, Internet and movies do it for us. This is true particularly among husbands and wives, but also as the Holy Christian Church, where we use appropriate vocabulary, realistic expectations and biblical confidence.
Yet, isn’t it funny how sex is very often one of the most frequent activities between a husband and wife, but one of the least talked about? Why is that? Perhaps it’s because society tells us that sex is all about technique, performance and gratification—that if you’re not having a mind-blowing orgasm you’re just not having real sex!
But the reality is sex creates unions, imposes responsibilities and establishes obligations in ways far beyond our comprehension and far greater than our physical gratification. Sex is the means through which God performs one of His most astonishing miracles—the creation of life.
Sex belongs in family because sex creates the family. Thus, sex is meant to be a normal, regular part of the household, where the desire for it is neither repressed nor disordered, but satisfied. It is to include intimacy, yes, but also, at times, it is to include things like mundane conversation, laughter and worry, expressions that go far beyond just having an orgasm.
If we allow sex to be ordinary, we might just understand that human love is forged more out of the ordinary things of life, like cooking together, picking up a loved one’s laundry, or comforting our frightened children, than only from the act of sex itself.
Thus, if we want boys and girls to grow up to be men and women who understand and long for biblical manhood and biblical womanhood, who see family as virtuous, sexuality as a gift of God and who are not afraid to talk about it in healthy ways, then we must demonstrate to them the fullness of what this sounds like and looks like.
We need to love them enough to bring them up from little on in ways that will fortify their biblical baptismal identity and equip them to combat the onslaught of this oppressive world and sexually dysfunctional society, as well as find hope, healing and forgiveness through Jesus Christ when and where sin afflicts them.